After typing thoughts randomly to commit to getting this started I’m going to attempt to stick to some themes and change my topics. Being a self-identified, undiagnosed person with ADHD, embracing the topic of Neurodiversity allows me just enough options to not feel too constrained. We’ll see how that goes.
The impetus for this pivot is my journey into understanding myself and my daughters to help all of us live content lives. Quite an undertaking that’s never going to reach a finish line and no map exists to follow. This realization was my first step.
We’ve all heard the saying, “the first step is admitting we have a problem.” Here I’m addressing the ‘problem’ of thinking we can directly cause other people to change. Yes, you’re probably yelling “But you can!” I get it that’s been me and I still fall into that thinking constantly. To not think so means you’re giving up, being complacent and lazy, right?
It can, but doesn’t have to be. I’ve found the more I accept what is, and how limited my ability is to influence others, the more I’m successful in doing just that. Trust me, that’s not an easy thing to do.
When dealing with people, and neurodiverse people in particular, in order to accept what is you have to actually find out what is. This is way more difficult than it first appears because we all see what is through our perception and interpretation. Byron Katie has a helpful way to question if your thoughts are reality and my favorite is “Can you absolutely know that’s true?” Of course especially when dealing with other people’s motives, feeling, expectations etc. we can NEVER answer yes because we aren’t mind readers. We figure out what we THINK is going on by past experiences, how we feel when we act a certain way, societal norms; you name it. Just accepting this one thing threw me back on my heals and into chaos and doubt. Fun right?
No, but necessary. I don’t always like what I see but I actually see it more often than I did. The challenge for me is to focus, ask, listen and accept what that person says IS no matter what my judgement is about it. No I don’t stop judging, doubting, thinking they’re wrong, feeling agitated. However, I am better at not acting on those uncomfortable feelings.
I think the song “The Long and Winding Road” and that is the tip of the iceberg
GenX Superpowers 