I’ve never liked stereotypes, especially about women. I have never felt like the ‘typical’ woman, feminist, stay at home mom or working mom’. They’re just too confining. The more I talk to other women around my age, I realize many feel the same.
I’m Gen X and while I hate stereotypes I embrace a lot of our labels. We’re resilient, independent and generally tend to suck it up and get on with life when we encounter problems. We also have little respect for the establishment; those who say ‘trust us.’
In some ways our generation has been trained to handle the ups and downs of life. We grew up during the 70’s and 80s with some old enough to see the effects of the oil crisis and high inflation. All of us witnessed the boom in the 80s with it’s mantra of “greed is good” . We were young adults through the 90s with new definitions of sex, the dawn of the internet boom and bust and the fall of the Soviet Union. Most of us were full adults in our 30s and 40s when the Great Recession hit and experienced Covid in our middle age.
This isn’t to whine; we know that doesn’t do any good. Boomers complain about the failure of society and the undoing of everything they’ve done. Millennials complain how unfair it all was and they deserve more. Most of us are like, “Whatever.”
But we’re tired. Speaking as a woman I know we’re particularly and uniquely tired. We have opportunities our moms fought for and we’ve tried to take advantage of them. I was raised with two brothers and told I can do anything they can do. Yet my female examples were traditional and I admired their strength. My favorite song at 5 was “I am Woman Hear me Roar” which I would belt out at any opportunity with my mother looking on proudly. We could do everything.
I entered the workforce confident and focus on personal achievement; ready to out guy the guys. However, when I emulated their attitude my reception was very different. I remember my first formal review was glowing except the one area for improvement was, “you need to not contribute so much so others have the opportunity.” I was raised in a family where you were expected to speak up and was baffled by the comment. Now I wonder if any of my male peers got that constructive criticism.
I also began to realize if I want a husband, my odds were better younger. If I want to have children, my biological clock dictated I had to do it in my 20s or 30s. If I want to be admired in general society, shouldn’t be too dominating or pushy. I had to put others ahead of myself and make people feel comfortable. Kick ass and achieve, but do it with a self deprecating smile on your face. A different set of hidden rules existed for us.
It’s time to break this false dilemma. We do not have to be one or the other AND we don’t have to strive to be both.
We can be what we want to be.
GenX Superpowers 